Pocahontas, among others

So clearly ACTR follows my blog EXTREMELY closely. I have a home! Not quite a family, my residency consists of one woman--the (in? hopefully not)famous Inna Borisovna Nikitina. Okay, so I know nothing about her other than she has no pets (NOTHING TO TACKLE?! so sad). But it beats living Gypsy-Chechen style на улицу. No idea how old she is either. Hopefully she is full of gracenosity and hipness and she'll take me to all le cool places in Moscow (of which I hear there are many). Or a бабушка who cooks lotso yummy food for me. Hold the borscht. Honestly, who looked at a beet and said "I bet that'd be delicioso if I made a soup out of it." Oh Russians, what a people.

I have a dream that Inna Borisovna is a concert violinist in the Bolshoi, and she'll teach me the ways of the Russian classical musicians. Witchcraft, probably. But I don't care because it's SHMAMAZING. And she'll be my best friend, and we'll braid each others' hair, and she'll teach me hilarious Russian nuances, and she'll be an expert on Russian-Chechen relations, and everything and everybody will live happily ever after. Dear ACTR (since clearly my warnings are being heeded), make this happen.

To prepare for Russia, I've been increasing my vocabulary by learning Disney songs in Russian. I've already mastered Cinderella (Золушка) and I'm now tackling (TACKLE) Pocahontas. So far I'm a verse and chorus into "Just around the Riverbend". I'm looking to wow Inna with my knowledge of words like "stream" and "riverbend". I hope she likes canoeing. 

On another note, it seems many of my "Goodbye, hope breathing goes well in Russia. How 'bout them Chechens eh?" gifts are red themed. Thanks guys, really cute. Luckily, all this red got me ready for MEIN FUHRER GLENN BECK AND SEXY "GRIZZLY MAMA" SARAH'S Restoring Honor rally! Hey Sarah, soon I'll be able to see Russia from my house too. While I'm on the subject of Forrest Gump, I love the part where Jenny (whose birthday is ALSO July 16th, according to her tombstone at the end. Spooky!) and Forrest run across the water and they embrace. Except that image is now ruined forever by the Teabaggers. Though if we replace Forrest Gump with Glenn Beck, and Jenny with Sexy Sarah, that would be a symbol of today's rally. Except they'd be hugging Jesus. It was ridiculous.
 
So here's why teapartiers annoy me:
Us (a lovely group of reasonable college students having a logical and esoteric conversation): There were definitely more people at the inauguration. This was lame, and not that cool/hilarious.
Teabag Couple: That's before they knew better. (Let me pause this story to say MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Honestly, what did they think they'd accomplish by engaging with us?)
Us: *Some comment that is SO profound, I can't even recall it. Probably along the lines of 'nuhuh'*
Them: Then you're in the wrong place (FALSE we were a block from Ivory. You're on OUR TURF. Fools).
Us: Actually, we're completely in the right place. DC voted outstandingly solidly for Obama.
Them: *Some comment along the lines of 'nuhuh'*

Hah! We win. The metro was an equally entertaining experience. I don't think my "Communism, WOOT!" Or "I love paying taxes" comments were appreciated. Afterward, we schlepped up to Columbia Heights for COLUMBIA HEIGHTS DAY! Or the DC equivalent of a "state fair". I met Aladdin, the camel, and a shmadorable minipony named "DOHHHHHTACKLECUTELOVE" (at least that's how I addressed him). And then we lunched at Alero. I have finally found delicious Mexican food in DC! While the paintings on the wall (naked David Beckham, Buff Harry Potter, and Hilary Clinton portrayed as God) were a little disconcerting, the food was delicious and the service incredible. I felt that eating Mexican food was the most American thing I could do before leaving. I am content.