Friday, July 22, 2011

Oh my GAWD

http://www.russiangirlproblems.com/?page=1

Pizdets, story of my life! Wunderbar 

That is all. I feel that as an expat (for at least ahwhile) and a survivor of Inna Borisovna I'm allowed to commiserate....a little. чуть чуть

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Dear Russia,

Your birthday present to me can be a LACK of intestinal diseases. Swam in the Moscow River yesterday for my birthday. A lot. REALLY hoping for no horrible repercussions.

Your devoted and unwavering comrade,

Женя Дурина

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Facebook: Triumph and Tragedy

Now a completely Un-Russian post. A strange half-rant. I promise to return to hilarity next time. As my BIRTHDAY is coming up, I'm POSITIVE shenanigans will ensue and therefore make for great blog-fodder. Bad times make for great stories. And don't I know it. But onwards!

I will be the first to say I'm a Facebook addict, as is currently most of the Western world. I could cite a thousand different reasons why I sit at any job/home mindlessly checking my Facebook (besides the part where it's sometimes my job). I want to keep up with friends, stretch my stalking muscles, organize events, brag, advertise my blogovitch, etc. Yes it's a wonderful tool, but there is a place for Facebook. It is not ubiquitous.

Triumphs: Aside from the personal advantages, Facebook is a rapid and expansive form of communication to mass audiences. The Arab Spring is an obvious example of how social networking can mobilize the masses almost instantaneously. Similarly, people can safely and anonymously exercise their freedom of speech with less fear of repercussions and violence than if they were to rally in the streets. And if a group wants to rally in the streets, perhaps to protest the government shutdown by dumping trash on Boehner's lawn in DC, they can organize beforehand. On a lighter note, flash mobs have appeared almost solely thanks to Facebook and HOW MUCH FUN ARE THOSE?! And yes, Facebook can be used, and has been very successfully utilized in some embassies, for public diplomacy purposes. Jakarta and Karachi have managed to accrue a huge following, and by doing so, can engage the younger generations. The US can advertise its trademark transparency directly by showing the world what we're doing in our embassies, and more generally in the world. Similarly, businesses have found the new frontier of advertising. And boy do we know it. Please tell me more about Humboldt State University housing! Thank you for showing up all over my facebook page. Not.

Tragedy: God I've grown to hate Facebook. It sucks up my time when I just stare at a news feed and it promotes a deep and creepy understanding of strangers. Advertisers, phishers, and other obnoxious folk have so much information about us, they could probably blackmail us or steal our identity. Yes there are security settings, and yes, many of us forget to change them to "TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED YOU MUST GO THROUGH A YEAR OF DEEP BACKGROUND SEARCHES AND POLYGRAPH TESTS BEFORE GAINING ACCESS TO MY SECRETS AND FUN VACATION PICUTRES." Also, while power has been given to the people, politically speaking, by doing it through facebook, we often disregard actual human effort and attribute any uprising these days to The Book. This man says it much more eloquently than I do: http://www.independent.ie/business/technology/role-of-twitter-and-facebook-in-arab-spring-uprising-overstated-2818242.html. And while Facebook has been a tool for public diplomacy, too often it is not effective without reverting to gimmicks and persuasion. Success is now measured on how many "likes" a group has, rather than its content. These "giveaways" often overshadow the real message of people-to-people connections, which are difficult to do over such a large platform as Facebook. Perhaps I'm old fashioned.

It's all about the audience. A funeral home should not have a Facebook page, not only because, well it's not very classy, but more importantly the audience who would want to know about the funeral home probably is not on Facebook. US Embassy Beijing doesn't have a page because, voila, they understand that there is LITERALLY no audience. However with all these groups that don't belong cluttering the social networking site, it's cheapened the value of the service. Personally, my interest on facebook has been saturated tenfold thanks to the thousands upon thousands upon millions of useless pages like Humboldt County Tap Water and I make situations awkward because I find it funny (both of which I am a huge fan, both in real life, and on The Book). This is not to say that these pages should be gotten rid of or limited. On the contrary, I see Facebook as the perfect place for these silly groups that are purposeless. AND FLASH MOBS. It is the shameless advertising and politicization of Facebook that bugs me, and has inspired me to write this poorly coherent mini reason-rant. What I'd love is Facebook and Business Facebook. Two entities that allow me to separate family and friends from work and money.

And don't even get me started on how much I hate Twitter. 

Or perhaps the real crux of the issue is that I'm just bitter that I, as the youngster, always get saddled with the "get more fans for us!" duties. Now, with all that said, VIVA EL GOOGLE+! TRUST-BUSTERS BE DAMNED!

Friday, July 8, 2011

Week in Review

So what, you may ask yourself, have I been doing these past weeks in ye olde Rus? I realized that my blogovich is often about life, America, Russia, crazy old women, lalala. Which is all fine and dandy. However, I'd like to take a small segment and go a little teensy weensy more serious and explain one of my most recent work projects, which has been a wonderful learning experience for ye young Jenny Durina.

Let me set the stage:

Attractive men. Very attractive male dancers. Very attractive.

Here are three of the attractive men

What was I saying?

Ah yes, work-stuff. So lemme break it down for you from the beginning. Don't worry, I'll return to the attractive manly men.

MONDAY: U.S. Embassy Moscow just launched a new cultural program called "American Seasons in Russia". The name is a nod to Sergei Diaghilev's "Russian Seasons" which more or less migrated Russian culture to Paris for a bit in the early 20th century. He also founded the Ballets Russes. Basically he was an old artsy-fartsy patron of all that is artsy and all that is fartsy and he was Russian. Here is his face. It is a mighty face.
I hope to someday date someone in a similar outfit (I'M TALKING TO YOU, YOUNG JACOB). Sans 'stache of course. Anyhoo, the point of American Seasons is to bring American art and performers to Russia to exhibit our less global culture. We are more than just Hollywood and Katy Perry, surprisingly. We're sponsoring the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, MOMIX, Ozomatli, an Annie Leibovitz photography exhibit, and will end with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. That one is particularly cutesy and fuzzy with warm diplomatic feelings because Chicago is Moscow's sister city. In order to introduce American Seasons to the general public, we held a press conference at ITAR-TASS, a news agency. I wrote a lovely little press release, to which Judith McHale, Under Secretary of Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs (aka the HEAD-HONCHO of PA at State in Washington) replied with a lovely email about American Seasons and forwarded the press release to THE HEAD HONCHESS herself, Mrs. Hilldawg. Wonderful!

THE PRESS CONFERENCE:
To launch American Seasons in Russia, we brought in participants from the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, whose performances would inaugurate ASiR. Other participants: Ambassador John Beyrle (woot woot); Gusman, Deputy Director of ITAR-TASS and meeter-und-greeter of practically everyone ever; Mikhail Shvydkoy, Special Envoy for International Cultural Cooperation to President Dmitry Medvedev; and Vladimir Urin, Director of the Stanislavsky Theater where Alvin Ailey Dance Theater would be performing.
My task for the conference was to pick up the Alvin Ailey people at their hotel, brief them on American Seasons and the BPC (Bilateral Presidential Commission, which I don't want to get into right now), and take them to the conference. Quite fun, and they were all wonderful people. Very friendly. Also I had fun chatting up our Russian driver and showing off my poor language skills. After the conference, which was mildly eventless except for a wonderful linguistic attempt to translate "knock your socks off" in Russian and this FABULOUS video about American Seasons (plug!).
Gusman invited the dancers and embassy workers (there were about 6 of us) to his special HOMNOM room where we were treated to delicious food and drink. Along the walls were pictures of important people giving toasts in that same room. I said howdy to Nixon, Putin, Medvedev, Castro, and previous ambassadors while snacking on caviar and wine. At one point, Ambassador Beyrle made a lovely toast and then scooted out on some busybusybusiness. I sat next to one of the dancers and we talked Russia, diplomacy, and general life. I then challenged him to a dance-off right there, on the spot, and he accepted it in order to save face. He accepted his defeat gracefully after I perfectly executed my special "cabbage patch" move. Everyone watched in awe. Some of that is not true. None of that is true. After stuffing ourselves, I took the dancers back to the hotel and danced a little jig of success that no one was injured or lost on my watch!

TUESDAY: Press conference numero dos, commence! This conferencio was solely for the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater, hereby referred to as AAADT, at the Stanislavsky Theater. After nearly napping through the conference (because I get very tired in life), I went to watch the press performance and it was AMAZING. I started getting flashes of stardom ideas and becoming a dancer. Then I remembered my height and laziness; the dream was crushed. My boss and a Russian from our office were unfortunately running around backstage doing damage control because this very nosy camera crew from the "Culture" channel was roaming around getting in the way of dancers. I had comp tickets for Wednesday and I could not be more excited! So many attractive dancers.

WEDNESDAY: Or as I like to call it "Day of Fear, Day of Darkness, Day of Russian". So Kultura (the culture channel) was doing a special on AAADT and were trying to get interviews throughout the day. We served as intermediaries and often as translators. During rehearsals we pulled dancers out and threw them to the lions of Russian TV. The dancers were fantastic speakers and even took questions like "so are you married? Do you want kids?" with eloquence and grace. When we weren't pestering dancers, we were backstage hobnobbing with some of the admin people, and made some great friends. My boss, former dancer and HUGE fangirl of AAADT, was absolutely thrilled and went out with them a few times. I was just happy to be out of the office! We had arrived at the theater around 2ish and ended at 5. I had tickets for the night's performance at 7, so just stuck around and memorized various herbs in Russian. There was an interview from the same Kultura channel, but a different news program, slated at 7:30ish during the first intermission, and because neither Zsofia nor Lena, our illustrious Russian, would be there, I would play control officer. I'd make sure everything ran smoothly; it was time to jump out of the nest! Oi. I was fairly self-assured, stupidly, and excited to be able to handle the press alone.

INTERMISSION: The dance performance was (insert superlative here) and perhaps a perfect introduction to ASiR, which promotes understanding through modes other than language. However my mind was of course wandering through the first third (there were two intermissions), due to anxiety and excitement. I ran into the lobby as soon as the curtain closed to find the camera crew. Luckily they were easy to spot, and Dacquiri, the company manager and organizational-extraordinaire had a dancer ready for them. I introduced myself to the interviewer, who asked if I spoke French. Taken aback, I denied any knowledge of French, though she continued to speak to me in broken French-English-Russian. My Russian accent (thank you thank you thank you phonetics classes!) finally convinced her to switch solely to Russian, and I served as broken translator to the dancer, Antonio. Kultura had brought no translator, and because it was such a tight time-crunch, she grabbed me to act as on-camera (directly under-camera, actually) translator. She told me they would take the interview to a studio and dub over his answers in Russian, so my role would only be from Russian to English, a role with which I'm fairly comfortable.

Interviewer-Me: "Tell us a little about the story that was portrayed in the first ballet. What was it about?"
Antonio The Dancer: "It's about lalalalalalalala" I wait and prepare for what question comes next, giddy and excited that I'm doing translation, and ergo not quite paying attention to what he's saying.
Interviewer: "So what did he just say? Give me a few sentences so I know what he said" MICROPHONE SWINGS INTO MY FACE.
Me (in Russian): "He. ugh. hmmm. say. it about history of company. Person try get in. Did not. She yell and asked again and he said yes. She was his (looking for a way to walk around the word "inspiration")...she...his....she was his influence of art."

I was caught off guard, but blindly scrambled through the Russian and panic. It was not pretty, but it got the job done. To further my panic and anxiety, a few of my coworkers had tickets for that night and were looking on from afar. Seasoned Foreign Service Officers were watching, probably thinking "what the heck is little intern doing under that camera with such a look of terror on her face? Hmmm I guess I'll just stare politely." The worst was probably when she asked "So are there any white people in the company, or they all black?" I chuckled uncomfortably as I thought "Oh GOD I have to say that in English!?" Luckily he took the question very well, except for when he used the phrase "rainbow of ethnicities" and the word for "rainbow" flew out of my mind. "There are many colors of people in the company." In the end though, I survived. Granted my adrenaline rush didn't subside until about 10pm after the performance ended, but at least I survived. I'd finally cut my public diplomacy teeth, and lived to tell the tale. I was, and still am, proud, terrified, and relieved.

FRIDAY: Friday was the day that the new art director, Robert Battle, for AAADC took up the mantel, and it just happened to be here in ye olde Moscow. Instead of a press release he hosted a "coffee and conversation" session with reporters in the basement of a chic little cafe across the street from the theater. The turn-out was wonderful, and this venue served as the most intimate and interesting of the multitude of press conferences and discussions that the dance company gave. Robert was funny, charming, passionate, and intelligent. He fielded the same "when were white people allowed in the dance company" (face palm) with elegance and no sign of awkwardness. A Russian dance critic rapid-fired him with questions, but Mr. Battle fielded them all. If anyone is interested, there was a lovely piece by the Washington Post about the discussion: http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ailey-dancers-bring-their-gospel-to-moscow/2011/07/03/AGBm9wwH_story.html

And that, folks, was a week in the life of Jenny Durina.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Moscow Redux

Moscow again. So I've been here for 3 weeks now and it's been (insert Jennifer Grey 80's pseudo-swan diving into the arms of Patrick Swayze HERE) the time of my life. Embassy life is MUCH different than living with a wonderful yet slightly batty old Russian woman, both for the good, the bad, and the ugly. Not really. The ugly just means that I don't have any old Russian pointless arguments anymore, meaning that my language is starting to suffer. But there are definitely pros and cons of living on compound and working at the Embassy. So lessssss-go

Plumbing:
Pros: It works. I did a sacrificial goat slaughter to the Toilet Gods as soon as I saw the American toilet in our apartment. Then I did a jig-of-joy just in case. Also the refrigerator/dishwasher/washer/dryer are all completely functional and free for my abundant usage. It's like a little water-haven. Also, in the summer Russians turn off the hot water (the water system is collective in Russia and people don't have their own water heaters) for two weeks to clean the pipes. Lucky for this spoiled little embassy worker, the embassy housing on compound has hot water heaters, so we don't have to deal with the minor inconvenience of not showering for two weeks.

Cons: Because I don't have to brave the Plumbing Gods, I've turned a little high-maintenance. I get whiny when the shower doesn't have enough pressure and snippy when the water isn't just the right temperature. I miss the rugged individualism I gained when braving the twists and turns (harhar) of Russian plumbing. Each day was an adventure! Now I have succumbed to the monotonous life of a lazy Westerner.

Apartment
Pros: Dude, our apartment is huge. Two huge rooms, a dining room, huge kitchen and amply endowed living room (I got bored with the word "huge"). We practically don't know what to do with all the space. Of course, I've made my room more homey by strewing my clothes about the room with wild abandon. It's not at all like a tiny Russian apartment. Also it's located approximately 4 minutes from home-door to butt-at-desk, ergo I can roll out of bed at a health 8:45 and still make it to work on time at 9.

Cons: It's not at all like a tiny Russian apartment. Living with a crazy babushka definitely made life more interesting. Plus the house was cozy and cluttered, like a true home should be. It should have a slight funk to the air, instead of the sterilized embassy imported American ay-er, ay-ay-ayer. It was home-y. I miss it.

Food
Pros: I get to eat not-gross things when I want. I don't get yelled at about using the wrong utensils, and I can eat pasta with my hands if I want (it's been known to happen). If I want to eat those grapes with that soup, then by gollygee I will do so without being severely punished. Ah the luxury! The freedom! The power! On a same-same-but-different vein, I often get free food from the office. For instance, after a press-conference that the embassy just had at ITAR-TASS, a leading Russian news agency, we were supplied with a banquet. Delicious salmon dish perfectly cooked, and veggies and meats and fruit as far as the eye could see. And with the obligatory deluge of toasts, for which Russians are so famous, my wine glass was never empty. Also, the embassy community organization CLO does an excellent job of supplying all workers with food sporadically throughout the summer/year.

Cons: Munies. I have to purchase all of my own food, which starkly limits my food intake. I've grown accustomed to the delicious dinner of: a tomato. Sometimes two, if I'm feeling especially Hungry-Bear. And pasta. Delicious plain unseasoned pasta. It gets old quickly. Also, it was nice to not have to prepare food. I am, all-in-all, a pretty lazy individual. I will not eat for days just because I don't want to get up and boil some water for my pasta. Or go to the grocery store. I'm being left to my own devices, and doing so has kinda-sorta murdered any sort of healthy or regular diet.

Russian Language
Pros: I don't have to use it.
Cons: My Russian has definitely taken a hit by working at the embassy. Although I'm taking Russian classes, I function almost completely in English at work. Similarly, all of the friends I've been making have been Americans, so I don't have many opportunities to practice Russian. Luckily in Public Affairs we speak Russian more than the other sections. My desk-neighbors are all Russian, and they humor my attempts to speak as I violently murder the Mothertongue. Also I go out of the office a lot and organize things with Russians, so I get a little practice. Though it's nothing like a full-immersion experience, к сожалению.

Work
Pros: Oh-em-gee I love it here. I am so happy I chose U.S. Embassy Moscow over CLS Kazan. Not only do I get to be in Moscow, a place with which I'm very familiar, but I also get to work in one of the most hub-bubbing embassies in the world. It's huge, important, and the FSOs love giving interns responsibility, which is sometimes hard to find in internships. I go to wonderful receptions, hobnob with people from a wide range of professions, and work with brilliant, albeit sometimes bizarre, people. Also, the free ticket perks for the Public Affairs office only makes it that much better. So does the ever-flowing stream of alcohol on Friday afternoons. Embassies love to party, and to that I say "Let's keep this party going!"

Stay-tuned for: the crazy-fun "best weekend ever" post about my rompings in Vladimir et Suzdal